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And it came to pass in those days that a Decree went out from the Followers gathered at Furman University. The time of the Resting was over. On January 10, 1998, Jack retrieved the One True Snack from the Guardian Beaver and brought them to Chris. The Glorious Middles were then placed in the Most Holy Ziploc Bag. Donnie bore witness to the Great Sealing.
The Journey commenced on January 11, 1998.
Chris took the middles on the First Voyage. The Voyage that began the work of the Club: to spread the Vanilla Goodness to all corners of the globe. The First Picture was taken at the La Selva Biological Station in Costa Rica. It was only the beginning. For within three fortnights, the Glorious Middles traveled the depths of the Amazon, the shores of the Galápagos Islands, and the heights of the Ecuadorian Andes.
The Middles, blest be They, are a Proud and Daring Snack. Without rest, They traveled to the Great State of Florida in February 1998. EPCOT, the Magic Kingdom, and Universal Studios were all blessed by the One True Snack. Donnie and Jack became official members at this time. The Three now decided that the Message should be told to all who would listen. It shall be spread far and wide among the continents of Earth. Long Live the Eternal Snack! Only one more member joined the Club in 1998. Justin beheld Their Glory at Carowinds.
In the Spring of 1999, the Middles journeyed to New Orleans, seeing Bourbon Street, and then passed to David. He took the Vanilla Goodness to the West and joined the Club at Mt. Rushmore. Treva, his future wife, joined at the Battle of Little Bighorn. Not long afterward, another westward trip saw the One True Snack journeying to Elvis’ birthplace, the Grand Canyon, Painted Desert, and Petrified Forest. Leo then became a member as he took the Middles to the largest globe in the world...a Sign of the Travels Yet to Come. Leo, in his wisdom, decided that the Most Holy Ziploc Bag was too important to the Club and needed to be preserved. He added the Bag of Protection around the Most Holy Ziploc Bag. In the summer of 1999, Washington DC was sanctified with the Presence at the White House, the Lincoln Memorial, and the Washington Monument. Joe became a member of the Club at the Duke University Chapel.
On September 3, 1999, Jack took the One True Snack to Europe. The Middles visited France, the United Kingdom, and the Netherlands. The Middles traveled under the English Channel in the Chunnel. They saw the Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, and the Cave Paintings at Lascaux. In Amsterdam, numerous hookers propisitioned the Middles, but They are Wholesome with Vanilla Goodness. He took the Most Glorious Middles to Barcelona, Spain, and through Belgium (Most Gratuitous Use in a Webpage). In a solemn moment, the Middles saw the beaches of Normandy stormed on D-Day.
In the Spring of 2000, the Middles left for the Orient. Nancy took them on a three week Asian extravaganza. The Glorious Middles saw Malaysia, Singapore, and China. The Forbidden City, the Great Wall, and Tienamen Square were all graced with the Presence of the One True Snack. Upon their return to the US, Rodney became a full-fledged member as the Middles saw Rodin's "Thinker". Dana and Molly joined at the Eno River suspension bridge in Durham, NC. Nearing the end of 2000, the Middles went with Rich to the Astrodome in Texas and Jacob's Field in Cleveland. Jack also spread the word of the Middles to the nation of Mexico.
The Middles rang in the new Millenium with a trip to the Caribbean with Dana Upton, Princess of the Middles. The first stop was San Juan, Puerto Rico where the Middles embarked on their first cruise. The first port of call was the island of Saint Croix, USVI, where they visited the capital, Christiansted, and the port city of Frederiksted. The next day, the Middles enjoyed shopping in Charlotte Amalie, the capital of St. Thomas, USVI. After a day at sea, the Middles soaked up sun on Isla de Margarita, Venezuela. The Middles then toured St. Lucia. On this tour, they visited Castries, the capital of St. Lucia, as well as the quaint fishing village Anse-la-Raye, a banana plantation, and the famous Marigot Bay. The next day, the Middles toured the island of St. Kitts - a scenic ride through downtown Basseterre, a visit to a batik studio, the Romney Manor Gardens, and the impressive Brimstone Hill Fortress. The Middles then returned to San Juan and flew back to the States.
The Vanilla Middles soon ventured forth again to study the geology of the Southwest with Molly. The journey took them to Death Valley, where they saw Devil's Golf Course, Badwater (the lowest point on the Western Hemisphere above water), Ubehebe Crater, and Saltwater Creek. They then ventured over one range of mountains to Panamint Valley. They camped within a mile of the Air Force base where Top Gun was filmed (which also was only a mile from the Charles Mason compound). They visited Owen's Lake, the LA Aqueduct, and the site of the 1872 Earthquake (one of the highest ranked on the Richter scale). Their favorite sites included the Mesquite Dunes (where part of the original Star Wars was filmed) and the Alabama Hills (where every other Western was filmed- Bonanza, Quick and the Dead, half a dozen Roy Rogers flicks...). They stayed at the base of Mt. Whitney- the tallest peak in the contiguous US. Then they returned to civilization staying first at ZZYZX Desert Research Station and then spending an afternoon in Las Vegas, seeing the strip.
Soon the Summer of 2001 began and the Glorious Snack
set forth on a journey to the frozen north. After a brief stop in Seattle (including the first Starbucks), the Middles
headed to Alaska, the 49th State. After seeing the Trans-Alaskan pipeline,
and gold mining in Fairbanks, the Middles traveled by train to Denali National
Park for a glimpse at the highest point in North America. After a brief
stay in Anchorage, the Middles boarded the Ocean Princess for a cruise of
the Inside Passage. College Fjord and Glacier
Bay National Park saw the One True Snack surrounded by icebergs.
Outside of Skagway, the Middles journeyed by bicycle down the White Pass.
Near Juneau, the Vanilla Goodness visited a temperate rain forest on the way
to Mendenhall Glacier. The Middles ended
that journey in Vancouver, British Columbia with a view of the totem poles in Stanley Park. Kerri Carlson took
the glorious Middles to Minnesota during late summer, where They encountered
Babe the Blue Ox. Near the end of the year,
the Middles journeyed back to Orlando, Florida. There Dana Pritchett
took the One True Snack to Jurassic Park and to the
wonderful world of Dr. Suess. Jack Montgomery
ventured forth with the Middles to Europe in November. They traveled
with nothing but a backpack and pair of rollerblades to beautiful and historic
Rome, Italy. After taking the train from Fummmacino airport into the city,
the Vanilla Goodness rollerbladed to the Colosseum,
the Forum,
Trevi fountain, the Spanish steps and finaly found lodging with Mama Alba,
Jack's Italian mother at a bed and breakfast. The next morning the
One True Snack rollerbladed down the Tiber River to
the Porto Porchese flea market to buy leather goods and then on to the Vatican
where the Middles encountered Cherubim.
Early in 2002, Brent joined the Club as he took the Light of the Snack to the Dark Continent, Africa. In South Africa, Brent took the Middles sailing along the St. Lucia River among crocodiles and hippos. The Glorious Middles took a cablecar to the top of Table Top Mountain to get a great view of Capetown. Finally, the One True Snack saw Zulu warriors in Ulundi. Crystal then took the Middles to the Alamo.
Due to their nature of Infinite Goodness, the Middles embarked on a mission of mercy for Memorial Day 2002. They joined Molly in moving her mother out of Houston, Texas to her new home in Raleigh. On the way they experienced Bayou culture at Pappadeux's, sampling the Houston cuisine of gator, frog legs, and turtle soup. The stopped at historic Cut'n'Shoot Texas, a town that hasn't changed much since the inception of the gunrack. Their favorite stopping place along the way was Memphis. After enjoying the R&B culture of Beale Street, they spent the night at the Heartbreak Hotel which is, you guessed it, right at the end of lonely street. They got a glimpse into the glory that is Graceland, but the Elvis fanatics scared them from going on the full tour. So after 28 hours of driving the Middles delivered Molly's mother safely to the heartland of North Carolina.
In June 2002, the Middles traveled back to Paris, France with Nancy and visited many glorious sites. She journeyed to the famous L'Arc de Triumph and the Louvre Museum. Inside the Louvre, the Middles were seen at "Art longing for the Middles and the Middles longing to be art." The Vanilla Goodness also saw an Easter Island statue.
In August of that same year, the Vanilla Goodness went on a week-long camping trip with Chris and Rich. They marveled at the Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel, crossed the Delaware Bay on Ferry, and then saw the Statue of Liberty. Northward, they continued through Vermont and the Adirondacks, stopping in Ontario and visiting Niagara Falls. The Middles added five new states in this journey: Delaware, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Vermont, and West Virginia. In November, The Middles ventured into the dramatic landscapes of Iceland with Jack. There, the Goodness flew into Keflavik Airport and lodged an hour away in the northernmost capitol in the world, Reykjavik. They explored the Golden Circle where they saw enormous freezing waterfalls, glaciers, geisers, and the mid-Atlantic ridge where the North American and Eurasian tectonic plates are diverging. In the evening, They rested under the beauty of the Aurora Borealis.
In October of 2003, Steve became a member by taking the Middles to Ann Arbor, Michigan. During November, Jack became a Steward of the Middles yet again. The Middles again toured the bustling streets of London only a few days prior to the arrival of President Bush. After riding the underground and taking in the sites, the Middles flew to the sunny island nation of Malta. While staying on a private penensula with a mafia run casino, the One True Snack spent the days touring Valletta, the capital and home of the ancient order of the Knights of St. John as well as monolithic pagan temples that date back to arround 4500 BC.
After a long rest, the Vanilla Middles traveled with Steve in early 2005 from Chicago to northern Wisconsin, to the town of La Pointe on Madeleine Island. En route, they passed through the town of Hurley, home of the Fighting Midgets, and crossed the frozen waters of Lake Superior. A band of ragtag medical students took the Middles on a journey by dogsled led by the obedient Ita and Lakoo. They spent the morning traveling through the island woods, stopped for a brief respite at a cabin, and then followed the sleds onto the frozen lake water. The trip was slated to be a quick circumnavigation of one of the Apostle Islands, but night descended swiftly upon the sled teams and they were plunged into darkness. The Vanilla Goodness huddled coldly as the wind picked up and visibility was lost. Through the night they trudged and pulled back onto shore. The Middles, now being refrozen, were given a chance to thaw at the Bell Street Tavern where they enjoyed sub-par frozen pizza at exorbitant prices and a honey-flavored ale. Afterwards they retired and returned to Chicago the next day.
The middles decided that it was time, now, for a European holiday. They flew from Chicago, IL to Charles de Gaulle airport, where they were snubbed by the local froufrou pastries, and continued on to Athens International Airport in Greece, where they awaited the shuttle in front of a well-stocked Pharmakeio (beauty store). Spending the night at the luxurious Zafolia hotel, the Middles took in a beautiful view of the rooftops of Athens. From Athens they traveled by bus to Corinth, where they saw a giant canal, followed by the ancient ruins of Korinthos. Here, they posed for a shot by the ruins of Apollo's Temple. From there, the middles were not so photogenic as they traveled to Nafplios, but emerged back into the spotlight while visiting ancient Mycenae, both the Tomb of Atredes / Royal Treasury and standing upon the ancient city's foundation itself. The bus wound its way to Olympia and Delphi, but again, the Middles, tired from their journey, resided within the confort of Steve's backpack. They re-emerged at the bizarre river-water etched landscape of Meteora, overlooking the plain of Thessaly, where monasteries hugged the rocktops and men lifted themselves upwards in giant net elevators. The middles then returned to Athens, where they were threatened by the local pastries, but scared the lids off of their attackers. After a rousing night in the Plaka district and traveling in the Athenian Metro to Monostiraki and the harbor district, the Middles prepared for an early morning departure, flying back through Charles de Gaulle and returning to Chicago.
In late 2005, the Middles traveled on the Applachian Trail to McAfee's Knob in Virginia with Chris. There the Vanilla Goodness basked in the glory of autumn foliage. The Middles returned to Chicago for a brief trip with Joe, Chris, and Steve to see the Man with Fish statue at Shedd Aqarium. After a long rest, the Middles journeyed to Finland where Amanda spread the Vanilla Goodness to a reindeer.
This is the current Chronicle of the Middles.
Amen.
